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A Little Perspective on the Warren Choice, Perhaps?

December 18th, 2008 Doug Reimel No comments

Rick Warren and Barrack ObamaWell, this is definitely not the post I thought I would be writing just now. This story was not supposed to be my first post in a long time on Equality Farifax’s blog. There are some other very pressing and important matters in hand for Virginia’s GLBT community, including the real possibility of passing a statewide non-discrimination law for all public employees in the approaching General Assembly session.

Alas, this story about Obama’s choice of invocation pastor is too important to the debate of who we are as a community, where we hope to go, and who will be going along with us for the ride. I had to do this story. It’s a bit long, so please stick with me. But I think this discussion is crucial to our success in the upcoming Obama political era.

The GLBT community needs to grow up. In strategy, tactics, and in message, we need to realize that a new dawn of politics is emerging in which ideological purity will not work, and demanding it won’t build us the coalitions that produce the votes for the real, meaningful progressive change we seek.

Obama has chosen, as others have already pointed out, the evangelical pastor and author of “The Purpose Driven Life”, Rev. Rick Warren to give the invocation at his inauguration. This is an important announcement for a pivotal role in a moment of the American political story that has always been one with a shared sense of hope, purpose, and optimism for allAmericans for their incoming leader. This should be a moment when we all bow our heads in prayer to offer positive thoughts and energy toward the person we have elected to lead our nation. It’s in all of our interests that he (or she) succeeds and leads our country to a better place from where it begins.

And for us today, has there ever been such a time as this for the importance of that collective hope? The economy is in shambles. The country is lacking confidence for the first time in generations that our future will be brighter than our past. Yes, we have faced such difficulties before, but many alive today have not lived them. This sense of renewal and optimism and hope is extremely important for all of us right now.

However, this was not an altogether comforting choice to millions of Americans. Let me tell you, gay and lesbian folks (and many of our stronger allies) are not “feelin’ it”. In fact, I think a fair characterization is that we’re pretty pissed off about this—and not without good reasons.

This has been a difficult few months for our community. We are angry. We feel very much “thrown under the bus” and a bit disenfranchised from much of the overwhelmingly positive vibe that much of the progressive community is feeling. I really don’t think most of my progressive compatriots, let alone our elected officials (or for that matter the “average Joe’s”) understand just how upset the GLBT community is at the moment.

Life is still an uncertain endeavor for many of us. Job interviews have risks. Being honest about yourself has risks. Buying a house with your partner has risks. Watching your partner die and trusting the solvency of his Last Will & Testament has risks. Asking your employer for health insurance for your partner has risks. Even signing up for a membership at Costco has risks. These are all pretty basics things taken for granted by most people, but not us. And much of the time our relationships that mean so, so much to us, mean almost nothing to the world—especially in the legal world. At every turn, life presents GLBT people with challenges that are not only unjust, but stressful and upsetting. And yes, dehumanizing.

And then there’s the violence. Well, I prefer to keep this post uplifting for now.

The (hopefully temporary) defeat of equal civil marriage rights for all people in California at the hands of Proposition 8 was a demoralizing and somewhat unexpected blow to millions of good contributing American citizens who want nothing more than to honor tradition and raise their families in their committed loving relationships with the exact same rights, protections, benefits, and responsibilities as any dutiful American family does.

However, the case I’m going to make on behalf of my GLBT community and our allies goes something like this—don’t panic! Remember the t-shirts from the early 1990s? We must understand the political environment into which we are moving in order to capitalize on our newfound allies in power and in order to effectively advocate and demand what we know to be rightfully ours. The outrage over the selection of Rev. Warren, although justified, is a symptom of the problem our community faces.

Folks, look, there are some very good reasons for us to be angry, alarmed, concerned, and altogether pissed off about the selection of a pastor who contributed to stripping millions of Californians of their natural and civil rights. However, there are equally promising reasons for us not to overreact—reasons I will spend a little time listing later in this article—and not to get to caught up in a very old idea whose time is quickly fading—identity politics.

That’s a buzz word that doesn’t mean the same thing to all people—identity politics. But let me make clear what I mean by the term. I mean reactionary, demanding, litmus-testing, and vengeful power-brokering politics that, at their root, have more to do with division and status-quo than with possibility and real meaningful change in the harmful policies that make life difficult for our families and to individuals.

Make no mistake, there is real harm going on in America to GLBT families and individuals. Often times, pundits and political types, and even some in the civil rights movement’s African-American community will insinuate that GLBT struggles are not worthy of comparison to the struggles of African Americans for full equality and a seat at the table of American life.

However, I would argue that those folks are wrong. While despite the lack of marches with tear gas and water hoses knocking us to the ground, despite the lack of visibility to our suffering, and our loss, we are being knocked to the ground (or worse) because of who we are. We are suffering—sometimes unimaginably—so much so that partners in love can be divided by their own families, or religions, or by international borders. We are losing what is most dear to any human being—love, respect, and decency. Not always, but often.

We are constantly dehumanized. And the press rarely intervenes on our behalf. We are subjected to statements about us in the public sphere rooted in simple hatred if not in plain intellectual dishonesty and/or false witness. Yet somehow, this speech is often treated as acceptable by our society. We are frequently belittled, disrespected, and we are laughed at.

Yet in the face of it all, being true to our own humanity and dignity, we have fought back for over 45 years. Since the days of the Mattachine Society and the picketing in respectable garb in front of Philadelphia’s Indepence Hall, to Stonewall riots in 1969, to the empowerment and liberation in the 70s, to the AIDS crisis and lives lost in the 80s, the March on Washington in 1993 when we also expected so much, and all the way up to last month’s Join the Impact rallies for marriage equality across North America—we have fought. We have fought and died. Harvey Milk. Matthew Shepard. Billy Jack Gaither. Teena Brandon. Lawrence King. And there are countless others—really—too many very sad and unnecessary violent stories could fill this page. We have our martyrs, too. We may not have the numbers of people, but we have struggled, fought, and we are battling for our lives—for our civil rights as Americans.

And just as the African-American community has risen above its struggles and demanded equality and dignity and respect, and risen beautifully and gracefully to the once unimaginable place it sits today—with its own son in President-Elect Barack Obama—so the GLBT community must rise and conquer our struggles. And they are deserving, civil rights struggles. We will have our place at the table, and soon if we play our cards right.

Identity politics are not going to get us our civil rights. Working directly with those with whom we vehemently disagree, but with whom we have an opening and listening for real dialogue and exchange—that is where the opportunity and possibility for real change exists in our current political environment.

It’s hard to have expectations and then have them dashed in disappointment. But (who is it that used to say this?) with every loss comes an opportunity. An opportunity to reevaluate who we are, what we stand for, and the strategies and tactics we will employ to realize our goals.

Crucifying Obama for his choice may seem like a logical course, but it’s not. It’s rooted in the old “identity politics” paradigm that demands rigid ideological purity and seeks to hold political allies hostage. It doesn’t work and it doesn’t help us achieve our goals. I strongly believe the GLBT community should reserve judgment over this pick, and keep faith in Barack Obama’s promises to our community. Why? Here’s why:

  1. People like the Rev. Rick Warren, who are open to redefining the boundaries of Christian compassion to new more leftist or progressive causes should be welcomed and engaged, not shunned, hissed and booed. There is possibility and openness in the engagement of someone like Rev. Warren—someone younger, who has more insight into the emerging young Christian left than do our older nemeses like Pat Robertson, Billy Graham, and the late Jerry Falwell. Even then, Tammy Faye brought us hope! Most “Biblical” opposition to GLBT rights is flat out wrong, just as even the most ardent evangelical Christian would now recognize that those old Testament gems about slavery and stoning your daughter and other truly heinous texts (taken literally of course) we know today to be outside the bounds of morality and the true meaning of Christ’s unselfish love for all of us. Just change your sinful ways, they say. Christ did not condemn true and deep, spiritual love, and at some point, organized religion (that hasn’t already) is going to “get” this about our relationships—they are a gift from God Himself, Jesus and the Heavens. They are the same thing that religion celebrates in marriages between men and women. It’s the love, stupid. Wouldn’t we like a hand, a role, in helping them get there?
  2. President-Elect Barack Obama means what he says, and says what he means. The episode with Joe Lieberman, a real exercise in restraint of the primal urge for revenge by many Democrats, demonstrates that Obama is serious about living up to his word on a different kind of politics. Obama has incredibly largely been a man of his word in the early stages of his forming administration and maintains a high level of integrity and transparency. I am inclined, for now, to take President-Elect Obama at his word on his promise for repeal of DOMA, to enact a fully inclusive ENDA law, to enact the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act, and to repeal the discriminatory Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell law. They may not all happen right away, or at the same time, but make no mistake—these ARE the priorities of the LGBT community, and the expectations. If Obama disappoints us at all in not standing and fighting vigorously for at least one of these each year, and if we do not accomplish all of them in his first term, count me among the hell-raisers then.
  3. We are going to win our full equality. But we must work constructively by changing hearts and minds. This is hard, difficult work. We cannot afford to wait another 10-15 years until enough of our likely opponents die off. We need to convince good conscientious Americans who currently oppose us why our civil rights are very important, have been denied too long, and need to be in place before many of our elders are gone. Over the Labor Day holiday, I was visiting my Mom and Step-Dad in Colorado, and we had some of my GLBT friends over for a barbeque. One of the couples, Michael and Robert, are in their late 50s and early 60s. They made the point that they feared that if Obama was not elected, that they more than likely would die without ever knowing what it felt like to have their civil rights ever fully realized. Sadly, unless we make our case to our fellow Americans with an ounce of openness to winning the hearts and minds of people who don’t share every value we do, we risk the same fate. This does not mean we give up one iota of what we know we deserve, it means directly engaging people who don’t agree with us on why they should. It’s not as hard as it sounds, it just takes a little more “grown-up” engagement and a little less temper tantrum tactics.

I am now old enough to recognize naiveté and unrealistic idealism. But I’m also old enough to understand how to constructively engage in dialogue and finally complete the process of winning long-fought and deserved civil rights for a minority that remains without the true effects of complete citizenship, and an inclusive feeling that instills confidence in the very spirit of American democracy.

It’s not that the GLBT movement hasn’t been engaged in respectful and mature ways—we certainly have. It’s just that we are indeed on the cusp of historic change and progress. And we need to be engaged in the right way at this critical juncture in order to capitalize on the progress we’ve made and the opportunity we now have. With the ascendency of Barack Obama, the GLBT community is uniquely poised to make headway into groundbreaking and exhilarating times for our community’s people and the promise of our lives and our relationships in America. But unless we are careful in strategy and tactics on how to win over our opponents, we risk alienating even our supporters who are now embracing a new political paradigm that has less resemblance to raging and screaming and more to do with dialogue, common ground, and sometimes even conciliation.

So, it’s OK to be upset about Rev. Rick Warren. I am too. But let’s have a little perspective and patience and understand that this man delivering the invocation at Barack Obama’s inauguration does not mean that all is lost, nor that we are not on the verge of massive and historic advances in our movement for justice and civil rights for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered Americans. And just perhaps—perhaps, by embracing the choice of Rev. Warren instead of denigrating him, we will open the door to dialogue—meaningful dialogue—with people who know they are on the wrong side of history and might like to become more a part of the inspiring story of change and victory, than relics of a bygone era that are determined to keep the downtrodden down.

Have faith, don’t give up yet folks. Yes we can—fabulously! It may be corny, but it’s true.

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Eva Freund Interview, Part 4: Family and Religion

September 29th, 2008 Linda Thomas No comments

Eva Freund photoThis is the final part of a four part conversation with Eva Freund. In this part, Eva discusses her family and her religion. We thank Eva for taking the time to sit down and relate some of her personal history.

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People of Faith Track at EV Conference

June 30th, 2008 Equality Virginia No comments

faith 4 equalityPeople of Faith is excited to announce that there will be a People of Faith Seminar Track at this year’s conference!  The seminar track will include an interfaith panel, moderated by the Rev. Jeanne Pupke, First Unitarian Universalist Church.  This panel will address the question of how faith communities have erred when addressing LGBT issues and what faith communities can now do about this.  The seminar track will also include a workshop on the continuing struggle for marriage equality and a time for shared reflection and open dialogue.

Conference details are listed below.

For more information about the People of Faith seminar track or to register, please visit: http://www.faith4equalityva.org/

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Twice Blessed: Connecting the Experiences of the Jewish Traditions and Queer/Ally Identity

September 16th, 2007 Equality Fairfax No comments
October 16, 2007
7:30 pm

Rainbow Star of DavidCome join us in a conversation as LGBTA Jews discuss encountering welcome in community and spirituality.

Featured speakers:

  • Rabbi Leila Gal Berner, Kol Ami, the Northern Virginia Reconstructionist Community
  • Dr. Mike Rankin, Temple Rodef Shalom
  • Vanessa “Vinny” Prell, Executive Director of the National Union of Jewish LGBTQQI Students (NUJLS)

For more information, contact: Ben Masters bmasters@gmu.edu (Pride),

Shizrae Mallick smallick@gmu.edu (Student Government), and Jodi Sukonick jsukonic@gmu.edu (Hillel)

SUB II is the Student Union II building, number 67 on this campus map

George Mason University
Fairfax, VA

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Is Outing Ethical?

September 13th, 2007 Linda Thomas 1 comment

out of the closetWith the spate of government officials who have been thrust out of the closet kicking and screaming, sometimes still in denial, one can’t help wondering about whether it is ethical. Some might say outing is never justified. Some might say it always is.

Is it ethical to out someone? If so, under what circumstances? If not, then why not?

My own instinct is that most people have the right to stay in the closet. I’d love to see everyone come out but it’s a personal decision and it isn’t for me to make that judgement for another person.

But, do government staffers, elected officials or clergy forfeit that right?

I think they may, at least sometimes.

If you hold a position where you influence policy or opinion toward my community and you use that influence to hurt me and then secretly participate in that community, then I think that hypocrisy deserves to be aired. If you don’t hurt the community then, no, stay in your closet.

This is probably an overgeneralization but many of the people outed appear to be particularly self-loathing. It’s as if they internalized all that 1950′s propaganda that said how horrible it was to be gay and have let that stew inside for decades. At best, the closet is a lonely place but at worst, it’s a very unhealty place. I’d rather not see that self-loathing manifest as an attack on me.

So I might try to rationalize these outings by saying that getting things out in the open is healthy. Ultimately, I think it is but it’s still a rationalization. It’s a rationalization because I have to admit that seeing hypocrisy exposed feels good. People like Senator Craig have made a career of hurting the gay community. Someone like that isn’t going to come out of the closet; he has too much invested in the public image crafted over twenty years. Even now, he still denies it given reasonably substantial circumstantial evidence otherwise.

And while his replacement may be just as conservative, he probably won’t be hiding in the closet and that means he’s a little more likely to be reachable. It’s not guaranteed, of course, but it’s possible. Someone like Craig would never risk supporting a “gay issue” but someone not hiding in the closet might. If not now, then eventually. There’s a chance for meaningful debate.

That debate can’t happen with someone who lives iin the closet and is so afraid of the stigma of anything gay that he works overtime to prove how anti-gay he is. If that isn’t self-loathing then I don’t know what is. I don’t want people like that making laws that affect my life. So, yes, I support outing them.

But, I’d rather work to live in a world where everyone could be out and the sexual orientation of my elected official didn’t need to be a concern subject to national debate.

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Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop in DC

September 7th, 2007 Equality Fairfax No comments
October 7, 2007
8:00 amto11:00 am

Gene RobinsonOn Sunday October 7, the Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of NewHampshire, will be guest preacher at The Church of the Epiphany in downtownWashington. Bishop Robinson will preach at the 8am and 11am services of Holy Eucharist.

The Rev. V. Gene Robinson, who is openly gay, was consecrated in 2003 as the Episcopal bishop of New Hampshire, kicking off the controversy about the role of gays in the Episcopal Church.

Epiphany is an open and welcoming community.

Free parking is available at the PMI garage, next door to the church, with a validated ticket. Epiphany is located at 1317 G St, NW, at Metro Center (13thand G Sts. exit). 

Church of the Epiphany
1317 G St, NW
Washington, DC

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Ex-Ex-Gay Speaker at PFLAG Howard County

August 11th, 2007 Equality Fairfax No comments
September 11, 2007
7:30 pm

PFLAGCan Someone Become Ex-Gay?

Come hear Chris Camp, an Ex-Ex-Gay, who’s been there and back.

PFLAG Columbia-Howard County announces the September 11th, 2007 meeting at 7:30PM in the Owen Brown Interfaith Center.

This month’s topic is the controversial Ex-Gay movement being promoted by conservative (mostly religious) groups who sincerely believe that someone’s sexual orientation can be changed from GLBT to “straight.” This implies that sexual orientation is a choice. The idea that sexual orientation is a “choice” is a fundamental argument used by the conservative religious right to label GLBT people as “sinners” and to deny gays and lesbians the right to civil marriage and hate crime protections under the law.

Our Speaker, Chris Camp, was part of the Ex-Gay Movement for a number of years. He is currently a mental health professional working for the State of Maryland. In his spare time he is part of the Ex-Ex-Gay movement (Truth Wins Out) that seeks to educate people on whether these reparative conversion therapies are helpful or hurtful, especially to young people. A devout Christian, Chris once wrote, “Many [of his friends from ex-gay groups] were so unhappy about not being able to change their orientation that they committed suicide. Some lived double lives; they lived one life publicly as heterosexuals, with wives and children, active in church, seminary or Bible College; they maintained a second, secret life as closeted homosexuals.”

This is an important program on a critical topic. Please don’t miss it. There will be a chance for discussion after Chris’ presentation. Please visit the Truth Wins Out website for more information.

Owen Brown Interfaith Center
7246 Cradlerock Way
Columbia, MD, 21045

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Community Event – Interfaith Service

May 12th, 2007 Equality Fairfax No comments
June 12, 2007
7:00 pmto9:00 pm

faith 4 equalityNoVA INTERFAITH FAMILY PRIDE SERVICE

Tuesday, June 12, 7pm

Hope UCC of Alexandria

“Pride in Our Families” will be celebrated by religious organizations in Northern Virginia in an Interfaith worship service and family gathering on Tuesday, June 12, at Hope United Church of Christ, Alexandria. The outdoor worship will be followed by light summer refreshments. 

The service is sponsored by People of Faith for Equality in Virginia and by participating congregations including Hope UCC of Alexandria, Northern Virginia AIDS Ministry of Falls Church, Metropolitan Community Church of Northern Virginia, Agudas Achim Congregation of Alexandria, Rock Spring UCC of Arlington, Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington and its GLBT and allies group, VaRUUM (Virginia Rainbow Unitarian Universalist Ministries), Clarendon Presbyterian Church of Arlington and Congregation Etz Hayim of Arlington.

For more information contact:

Rev. Dr. Kenneth Harrington, pastor, Hope UCC (www.hopeucc.org): 703-960-8772.

Hope United Church of Christ
6130 Old Telegraph Road
Alexandria, VA

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Love Won Out Vigils

May 20th, 2006 Equality Fairfax No comments
June 10, 2006
7:30 amto9:30 am
4:00 pmto6:00 pm

PFLAGMetro DC PFLAG is organizing this vigil.

Focus on the Family is coming to Montgomery County Saturday June 10. They are presenting their Love Won Out conference at Immanuels Church in Silver Spring.

We know from other similar events around the country that these conferences propagate the view that LGBT people must choose between their Christian faith and their own God given sexuality; that homosexuality is a mental disorder and that this disorder can and must be cured.

In other communities, people of faith have joined together to bear witness that these statements are not true.

We hope to do the same. A vigil is being held in front of Immanuels Church the day of the conference. We desire to let people know that being faithful to God and being a healthy, LGBT person are not inconsistent; and to counter the conversion therapy notions set forth by Focus on the Family, which are dangerous to the well being of those to whom it is directed.

The morning vigil is between 7:30 and 9:30 AM. The afternoon vigil is 4:00 to 6:00 PM. Our presence will be particularly important for the young people who likely will be brought to the conference. Feedback from previous conferences tells us that the sight of Christians witnessing to Gods inclusive love was most welcomed by youth. In the event that there is media coverage, we also want the diverse opinions of this issue present.

Our vigil will be silent and peaceful. Respectful placards are welcome.

Immanuels Church is located at 16819 New Hampshire Ave. Silver Spring, MD. It is just north of Spencerville Road, 6.8 miles north of Colesville Road.

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A Special Invitation from the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Fairfax’s Welcoming Congregation Team

March 18th, 2006 Equality Fairfax No comments

logo from UUCFDinners in mixed company - UUCF has undertaken an effort to reaffirm their congregation’s status as one that is welcoming to the GLBT community. One of the many events the Welcoming Congregation team will coordinate is a series of dinners attended by people interested in getting to know each other. Specifically, this effort is an opportunity for GLBT and non-gay people to spend time together and share their experiences.

Equality Fairfax is proud to partner regularly with UUCF on events and has volunteered to offer this opportunity to our members. The commitment is to agree to be assigned to a group of people (some singles and some couples, some GLBT and some non-gay) who will meet for dinner four times.

A potluck dinner with the entire group on March 26th at UUCF will kickoff this series of dinners. The potluck will be a wonderful opportunity for everyone to meet, enjoy a wonderful meal and get some direction for coordinating their dinners. After the potluck, each group will work independently to arrange their four dinners. Some time later this year, all participants will be invited back for another social event to celebrate what they have experienced.

We need 12-15 couples and 10 singles to match the interest the folks at UUCF have shown. If you are interested in participating, please contact us.

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